I Love Pirates

I love Pirates.

This morning I made a pact with myself, mainly because it's Friday and I'm a bit bored at work today, that I would blog about the first news item I came across.

Here it is: Somalia's pirates seize 33 tanks

A topic quite close to my heart. Like many other kids, I loved Pirates growing up. Unlike many kids, I never outgrew it. When I took career counseling in High School, I was very dismayed at the fact that 'Pirate' was no longer a viable option.

Shows you what High School counselors know. As has come to light over the years, high seas piracy is alive and well -- just in another form. Rather than sloops and swords, it's now cigarette boats and RPGs. Awesome. And now they have tanks. Well done, although what the hell you're doing to do with 33 Russian tanks, I don't know (although the mind does reel at the possibilities).

It reminds me of my master plan of my early 20s. Myself and a compatriot of mine at the Dix Performance warehouse where I worked summers during college came up with a modern day pirating plan which consisted of finding an unoccupied Caribbean island to inhabit as a home base. From there, we'd prey on small pleasure vessels, plundering loot and stealing women in order to populate the island with a new generation of pirates. It looked great on paper, however finding an uncharted Caribbean island while working in a warehouse in Coquitlam is much harder than it sounds, and ultimately the plan was torpedoed by our lack of funds for a boat or bus fare to get to the Marina.

Too bad I'm past my Pirating Prime, with my 30s becoming a distant speck on the horizon. In fact, my life is rapidly becoming a song:



Fuck. Looks like these days I've have to be content with my skull and crossbones wallet and matching flag that hangs over our garden. To my Somali brothers, I'm with you in spirit. Best of luck with the pillaging and looting. Try to take it easy with the killing though -- we may be Pirates, but there's nothing wrong with kinder, gentler Pirates, just so long as we all get Booty in the end.